Doing the best we can

February 28

It is the end of the month and rather than be excited and grateful about all that has come to be and all that is coming in the next month, I am tired.

I’ve had a couple of very violent dreams in the last week or so, which tells me I am also angry.

I woke up to the news that the madman has gotten us into a war and, with the first strike, somewhere between 50 and 100 girls have been murdered in Iran because one of the first places we bombed was a girls school. And if you don’t think we have the technology to dial things in that much, think again. That was purposeful. What I know is this war isn’t about whatever lies he has spouted off about why he started the war. It’s about strategy. This is part of an over all strategy to continue to demolish the Constitution of the United States, our system of government with its checks and balances, and our elections system. Next up, he will declare a state of emergency and use that as an excuse to cancel the midterm elections. I once said I would leave the country if this happened, and even bought a travel trailer to live in should it become necessary for me to do so. But I have a friend now living in that travel trailer, and something within me is telling me to hunker down and engage in non-violent resistance. I guess I care too much about my country to give up on it. And, I’ll be honest, there’s another part of me that wants to fight in less non-violent ways, if you get my drift. I think that’s where the dreams are coming from, because in those dreams, I’m kicking ass.

Instead, what I really did today was officiate a wedding. Turns out that when the shit hits the fan, people get married.

February has been a record month for me for weddings. This particular couple got married, and then they are moving to Scotland. The bride’s country of origin. I’m getting a lot of that lately. Instead of folks from different countries marrying and moving here, they are marrying and moving anywhere but here. In my work with my wedding couples, I get to see a microcosm of what is happening in the greater sense. If my couple are doing this, you can be sure many many more are also doing it.

On the way to the wedding, I had a conversation with a prayer partner, where we talked about the latest turn of events, and I asked for treatment to love it all. She asked for acceptance and living in the current moment. I felt better after that and arrived to a beautiful day at the outdoor overlook point where I do many of my weddings. Tahoe was showing off today. And I got grateful for that. The photo you see here is from today, from the spot where I did the wedding.

Yes, my gratitude, my sense of love, my striving towards equanimity for everything is helping me to feel like I can function well in my little world out here in the back forty, but there is a shadow. Sort of like an eclipse making everything just a bit darker.

I came home and filled my bird feeders and watched the birds partake. That helped too. Unless I change my mind, I will stay home tonight and just be and enjoy the privilege I have of having a home that is peaceful and isn’t being bombed. Or I may go to a meeting, we shall see. Because right now, I still have the freedom to make that simple choice. Some other folks in this world do not.

Tomorrow is March 1. The beginning of a new month. I will plant some spring bulbs in my garden soon, for some color to illuminate the darkness. It is what I can do right now.

I leave you with this:

Today and tomorrow, I affirm light to replace the darkness.

I affirm color to brighten the soul.

I affirm love to prevail over hate.

I affirm wisdom takes precedence over strategies to gain power.

I affirm compassion for self and others to ease the pain.

As we enter this season of war, I affirm that we become the qualities of light, color, love, wisdom and compassion, and that in so doing we then spread those qualities outward wherever we go, to whomever we encounter. I affirm that more and more of us move to the light, the color, the love, until so many of us are doing so that the hateful simply can no longer exist in the light of day.